


butterfly. [ENG]

by NobodyFromNowhere



Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 13:05:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18073943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NobodyFromNowhere/pseuds/NobodyFromNowhere
Summary: The butterflies with broken wings, unfortunately, can't fly.





	butterfly. [ENG]

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [butterfly.](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/463646) by younger dreams. 



He stopped under each lantern of the bridge and checked how much time had passed since the last ten steps were completed. It became a habit in thirty minutes. Tyler did not know why he did it, just as he did not know why after the rain he put on white sneakers on the street. Just a little calmer or something like that. He almost forgot why he left the house in the middle of the night, leaving a light and unfinished tea in the kitchen. He would have forgotten if a passing car with half-naked and very drunk teenagers did not drown out the music in the headphones with their screams and did not beat out the desire to look again at the time.

Josh (it happens) comes home late, undresses too loudly, or may not even bother to do this, and stains parquet and carpets in their room. He doesn't even bother to leave Tyler alone, because when Josh comes home late, he absolutely doesn't care. Tyler is already used to drunken Dun, he is not even trying to hide or fear. He himself puts his face and his body to him, choosing the places to which it is not yet painful to beat. Josh is annoyed that Tyler completely stopped responding, and besides the smile, Joseph doesn’t show him anything. Even when he begins to choke with his blood, and purple-black spots appear on the remains of the ribs, even then Tyler continues to smile and says phrase: "I still love you." And this is a huge crack somewhere in the middle of the chest, because Josh suddenly begins to feel his heart breaking through his barrier. Only alcohol still forbids him to understand that this is not from Tyler who is unnerving his behavior, but from the fact that he still loves him too. He only loves him from 10 to 22, especially from 10, when he bites the edge of his palm in the bathroom, that as not to howl because that even after that, breakfast continues to appear on the nightstand in the morning, and Tyler pretends that he just fell awkwardly somewhere.

The room smells of blood, dirt and someone else's rotten soul. Joseph is only nineteen, but his hands are already shaking, and there is a small gray strand in his hair. Mom called him a butterfly, because Tyler has a fragile soul and sensitive skin. Every time he broke his knees, she blew on them and said that butterflies were created so that flowers would live. And it was somehow easier, because the old flowers were suddenly forgotten, and there was a desire to find new ones. But mom was not here now, and there was no one to blow into her lap. Here was only Josh. Dun was sleeping on his feet. He (by the way) also called him a butterfly, but did not see the beauty of his wings. Tyler recalled this only when he smeared blood over his face with his palm, watching how it was quickly washed off in the sink, painting the water in a crimson color. And then he remembered that Josh had not a rotten soul, and Tyler is just a fucking masochist.

This year, on the night of September, one could see and hear the echoes of last summer. It became warm on the street and only slightly humid, and the sky turned into some kind of fantastic phenomenon, because there are so many stars in life. Tyler stopped looking at his watch and counted his steps, because the bridge was long over, and somehow suddenly there was sand, annoyingly stuck to the wet sneakers, and then the waves gently licked the sole. The player is dead, but Tyler did not hurry for the headphones. It seemed to him that the waves today create noise only for him.

He lay in the sand, watching the falling comets, which this year were late for a month or delayed by the same amount. He watched them and thought he wanted to fly like them. More precisely, he wanted fly away like them. He is a butterfly, albeit with broken wings. Josh often told him that it would be time for him to collect his belongings a long time ago and leave him, and Tyler started collecting, but for some reason he always stopped. To fly is easy, but to fly away is hard.

Josh returned early today, giving himself in the arms of the silence and the atrocious fear. Tyler had left. Here was his jacket, in the kitchen were his favorite books, all in unity. Josh checked everything several times. Then he drunk some cold tea. It was horribly nasty and bitter. Tyler hated tea with sugar, but put it constantly, cooling after exactly half the drink remained in the mug, because Josh loved it. Not because he was too lazy to pour himself, but because he could feel the taste of Tyler’s lips for some time. But now this stupid tea was tasteless, and sober Josh knew that Tyler, it turns out, also has a limit.

He found his sweatshirt hanging on a lamppost near the bridge, along with a folded player, telephone and house keys. And the note, scratched on the concrete wall with glass, which was now lying under Josh's feet, was covered in blood from the fingers he had cut. Tyler did it on purpose so that Josh could not take the note with him, because he remembered that he loved him all the same, even if not all time.

Josh did not notice how the emotions flared. Tears ran down his face, burned his skin and collected in drops on his chin. He felt it because he had a throat, not letting him scream all over the street, but he could hardly whisper Joseph's name, sliding along the wall and pulling down his hanging jacket, which had not yet been smeared with Tyler, but also his fragmented soul.

"Josh, I seem to understand that butterflies whose wings were torn off cannot fly. With stuck ones too, therefore, you tried in vain to make me fly again. I hope that in the next life I'll be someone a little stronger."

One more constellation appeared in the sky.


End file.
